Don't Ask Don't Tell
by srmdct2819
Summary: Everyone has an achilles heal, a weak spot they have to...Except for him he was virtually unstoppable and that's exactly why I hired him. Because as I said he seemed perfect for his job! **chapter five** a real chap. to lol
1. Introduction To Everything

A/N: I'm not sure if you'll like this or if you'll want me to continue if you don't (please) review! I'm not giving you a lot of information except that this is a employer talking about their perfect employee and all of the friends cast will be in this but later.. So as I said please review. And be brutally honest I'm not gonna get any better if you don't tell me what I'm doing wrong I don't take anything personally so u won't hurt my feelings. Thank You for trying to use your 1.2 attention span on my fic lol :-) :-)  
  
Disclaimer: If I owned them would I really be posting them on ff.net I mean puuhleeeaaase! lol  
Don't ask.... Don't Tell  
Chapter One : Introduction To Everything  
Everyone has a weakness one fault an Achilles heel they have to.... Except for him, he was virtually unstoppable. He had no family or friends; he didn't value his own life either. And that's exactly what made him so good at what he did. He had trained for years and was skilled in so many aspects of life you really couldn't tell whatever he told you he had done he hadn't. He could manipulate anyone and talk his way into or out of anything. He was fluent in just about every language spoken and could read and write in all of them too including ancient forms. He had managed to master the skills of doctors, scientists, librarians even you name it he could pull it off. And that's why I hired him.... He was educated in both the physical way of things and the mental. He could handle anything and dealt well under pressure. Educated in different sciences, the arts, linguistics, cultures, and just about anything else you can learn in one lifetime. You may think I've stated my facts more than once but it's just to emphasize my point; that he seemed immortal, inhuman, and perfect when it came to his job. He had no attachments and many connections not to mention a full array of vastly knowledge. He was smart, charismatic, unattached, quick, strong, independent and confident all at the same time so as I said perfect for his job.  
  
You might even know who I'm talking about I'm sure you've read his story in the papers. No? Well then I'll tell you it from an insiders point of view........  
  
A/N: Well should I continue or stop posting this miserable excuse for a fan fic lol please tell me what you think. Also sorry about it being soooo short! 


	2. Proof of Purchase

A /N: And here is where I screw everything up (lol). I know you probably want to know who it is so..... ....Nope not gonna get it! He he he!!! Well please review and help me fix my evident problems. Thanx for reading this!!! Oh yeah I know it's still short kinda but this is about the character's life beforehand so I tried to detail as much as possible w/ out over doing it so bare w/ me please till next chapter. Disclaimer: Once again why would I be putting them on some website if I owned them?  
  
Don't Ask...Don't Tell  
  
Chapter Two: Proof of Purchase  
  
In order for you to really get what I mean when I say no attachments I need to give you a little to on....................  
  
He was born in New York. His mother and father died in a car crash when he was very young. I have to say he was probably better off. They didn't get along; well they hated each other and their son. They felt he was the only thing standing in their way of a good time. He was young but not stupid and hated them right back. After their death his parent's fortune was locked up in a bank.  
  
He was put in the custody of his parent's closest friend since he had no other family. This close friend got a check every month from the bank in order to pay for his food and what not. She seemed to really care about the kid too. And he started to like her even. But then of course the lawyer found out she was stealing money from the trust fund. Well let's just say that didn't end pretty; she wound up in jail and he, now an orphan without anybody, in a "home".  
  
After that he was bumped around from home to home until he was about eleven. By then he was tired of trying to please anybody or make anyone actually love him so he made sure he wouldn't end up like anyone he knew. He had been abused both physically, mentally and verbally which affected him. He trusted no one and kept to himself also he decided he should learn to defend himself he started taking simple self defense classes. He also buried himself in his studies becoming a top student.  
  
He was inducted into a school for the gifted so he could excel to his full potential when he turned thirteen. After that he graduated from the gifted junior high with high honors and was class valedictorian. He even got a scholarship to a high school/boarding school that was very, let's say elite.  
  
He instead of making friends (If you had been screwed over so much would you trust anyone?) joined tons of extra classes then normal. He spent about ten hours a day in classes in stead of six. And when he wasn't in class he was studying. Not that he didn't have "friends" just not real ones if you know what I mean. Like they probably couldn't tell you when his birthday was or what he liked to do but who wasn't a friend of the most popular guy in school...  
  
As I said even though no one really knew anything about him he was charismatic and very good at making people like him. He could reasonably have had whatever he wanted and go to parties and get drunk and fool around but he didn't. He graduated top of his class, valedictorian, with high, high honors and class president not to mention the extreme amount of extra credits he had from his extra classes. He probably could have taken one year of college classes and still graduated with extra credits on hand he had so many. He did however go to an Ivy League school but I'm not sure which and take an unusually high load of classes to occupy his time. He had had girlfriends and what not but up to this time but nothing serious. Then he met her... Her name was Michelle or Melanie no, no it was M.G. something... I just can't think of it. Was it Mon no Ma. oh wait it was Melissa yeah Melissa. Anyway she seemed to really get him and see past his cover. He let his guard down and she of course screwed him over (not like that ever happened). Melissa knew he was rich and smart and would probably become the next Bill Gates so she stuck by him hoping to get a free ride on the "billionaire express" as she called it. He even thought he loved her but soon found out she was a fake. He was broken hearted and pissed off. He never trusted anyone not anyone at all ever again. All the new friends he had made since he opened up he dumped.  
  
Then he fell into the wrong crowd where he met a not so great kind of people well my kind of people. He learned that his talent in making people like him and trust him while also being able to fool them and of course defending himself if needed came in handy in my line of work. Now do you really want to spoil the surprise and know exactly what I do and who I'm talking about? No you don't I knew you wouldn't.  
  
Now as I was saying his talents were of a few breed. So he was trained a little more in physical defense and drilled in all of the things he had learned so far also taught many new things as well. Anyway he soon started with small yet important jobs but it didn't take him long to rise to the top. And become the most sought after in the business. Awww come on!! Alright fine I am of course talking about none other than.................  
  
A/N: I'm not telling you who yet that would spoil all my fun 8-X!!! Although who do you think it is or, or, or even better who do you want it to be?!?!?!?! If you review and tell me I just might change who it's about.....but you have to tell me who you wish it was and I have to get more than one opinion!!! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!! PS I know it's only like 800 words but I can't tell you who it is till next chapter so if you review I'll post it sooner!!! Oh yeah and you thought M.G. was Monica Gellar come on don't lie you know you did. 


	3. And the Winner IS?

A/N: I'm so sorry it's been like a month since I've updated. I hope you like this chapter because now you know who it is and where of course the romance comes in. I thought you would get it from the story but obviously some didn't this is an A/U fic. Sorry to mislead anyone if I did, I put it in the summary too. Anyway in this chapter you get a whole lot of info on everyone. I'm sorry it's not all storyline but from the end it's all story and no more background info sorry for the wait. But chapter 4 will be posted almost directly after this one. And to Llew I wasn't using MG as in that's what she was called I was using it as her 1st name was M something and her last name was G something as in her Initials. So enough babbling and on with the story....  
  
Title: Don't Ask...Don't Tell  
  
Last Chapter: Now as I was saying his talents were of a few breed. So he was trained a little more in physical defense and drilled in all of the things he had learned so far also taught many new things as well. Anyway he soon started with small yet important jobs but it didn't take him long to rise to the top. And become the most sought after in the business. Awww come on!! Alright fine I am of course talking about none other than.................  
Chapter THREE: And the Winner IS...?  
  
.. Mark Smith, Tom Johnson, Michael Jamison, Brian Jones, James Sullivan, Steven Green, Phil Spiderman, (AN: he he he TOW the tiny t-shirt) etc. or his real name which surprising enough I hadn't heard his first name until she called him to the wait a second. I mean his name is kind of unusual it's Chandler Bing.  
  
Chandler worked for me as a bail out. He would fix the problems another employee caused. Chandler would go in regain the mark's trust, rescue the one who failed and complete our mission. Or if we didn't have any jobs- which was rare- we put him on his own detail.  
  
Now the mission he was on last was interesting but before we get there you should know about the other 5...  
  
I know there names because he had to get close to them and figure out which one it was. There was Rachel Green, Phoebe Buffay, Ross Geller, Monica Geller and Joey Tribbiani. They had been friends for a few years. Ross and Monica were brother and sister; Rachel Monica's high school friend and Phoebe Monica's former roommate. Joey lived across the hall from Monica and Rachel. Ross and Rachel were dating on and off while Joey was a bit of a womanizer with a good heart; Phoebe was quirky to say the least. Monica was our main target. From the source of our other agent she was most likely the one with the information we needed. Although he didn't have to rescue our agent this time he had to get in the group fast because one of them knew something. He being my best agent I sent him in or at least tried to..............  
  
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"Bing!" rang the voice of the Maggie Wheeler Chandler's boss.  
  
"Yeah, I'm out here." He replied.  
  
"Bing, I have a new assignment get in here!" she answered.  
  
Chandler opened the door and sighed with relief. Maggie Wheeler was the type of person that when she said certain things they were phrased as a compliment but sounded like she was giving you the third degree. When he entered she was sitting at her desk in her very bare office. When you were in this type of business you didn't have any personal amenities. He didn't even know if Maggie Wheeler was her real name of course she only knew his last name but she thought it was another alias.  
  
"Bing, take a look and tell me what you think." She said sliding the folder in front of the chair on the other side of her desk. Chandler sat down picking up the manila folder. Inside was a standard case report filed by the former agent, pictures, backgrounds of at least five people and a license passport etc with Chandler Bing on it. He was at first almost excited about the assignment until he saw the names.  
  
"I can't...I can't do this one Mag." he said simply.  
  
"What? Why?" she sputtered with a look of shock. Bing had not once turned down a job and this one wasn't even that dangerous. "The only reason you ever turn down a job is if" she saw his face and trailed off "unless you know the mark" she finished in an audible whisper. "How do you know this" she checked her sheet "Monica Gellar anyway?" she questioned.  
  
He cleared his throat and sat up. "Well does being her older brother's college roommate for two years." "She probably never saw you." she said. "Let me finish" he replied "Does being her brothers collage roommate for two years and going home twice for Thanksgiving to her house the first time calling her fat and the second her cutting of the tip of my toe?" he finished leaning back in his chair.  
  
"Oh" she replied shortly "Well then...wait a second maybe just maybe... We could.. nah... Never mind... It, it, it wouldn't work." she said distractedly.  
  
He smiled coyly "What do you mean 'it wouldn't work' what wouldn't work?!?" he was now fully grinning knowing full well Maggie had a plan and a foolproof one at that. She looked at him innocently "I don't know what you mean." she replied sheepishly. "Oh come on Mag I've been working with you for 3 years I know when you have a plan. Come on spill" he said smiling to himself knowing he had won.  
  
"Well you said you knew this um what's his name right?"  
  
"Ross and yes I did."  
  
"Well maybe you could use that as an angle, you know use that to get close to make them trust you."  
  
"Alright let's get started"............  
  
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A/N: So it was Chandler so you can guess this is a C/M but R/R fans don't expect me not to put them together in some way and have them as a subplot because how could I do that I mean they are lobsters. So don't worry because how can you only have ONE romance in an Action/Adventure/Romance fic I mean come on. And if I get a request for it later on P/J or P/? And J/?! So as soon as I get a least one review for the 3rd chapter I'll post the fourth cause I've already written it to stay ahead. So from now on you know that if I post a chapter I've got the next one written and all I need is ONE tiny, itsy, bitsy, small review from someone for the next installment!! Thanx for reading and please R/R!!!!! 


	4. The Preperations

A/N: And here it is Chapter FOUR I would just like to say to GR u know who u r and yes I stole your name Mwaahahahahah. Dedicated to my friends who still like me even if they don't remember why anymore lol! Ya know who you are and I know your sitting at home on a RAFT?!?!?  
  
Disclaimer: 4got 'bout this in the last chapter but...No I don't own the characters except Maggie Wheeler; the narrator/Chandler's Boss  
  
Title: Don't Ask....Don't Tell  
  
Chapter FOUR: The Preparations  
  
"Alright let's get started"............  
  
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"Alright. First task wardrobe"  
  
Chandler was used to this speech and grinned inwardly at Maggie's enthusiasm. He walked down the long corridor with yet more pale, muted blue walls with absolutely nothing on them. Finally after about 50 doors they reached one that read '560 Authorized Personnel Only". Maggie pulled out a key ring with about 500 keys on it. After some searching she found the large silver one she'd been looking for. "Here we go" she said opening the door to an extremely large room filled to the brim with clothes rack after clothes rack.  
  
"Now what are you going to be doing for a living will help determine your 'outfits' and your personality too." She said while walking over to one of the assistants in the room. "Bing I think you know Gerard our supervising fashion consultant. Gerard this is Bing. I'll leave you two to it call me when you're ready Bing." She stated while walking to the door.  
  
"Let's see hhmmm. Well your defiantly an autumn." He said giving Chandler the once over. "Mag can I have a word please?" he said obviously holding back. "You know what Bing I have to go we'll talk later." She said quickly closing the door as she left. 'Oh great' Chandler muttered under his breath. Now he was stuck here with the one person Maggie knew he really couldn't stand. Whatever all he had to do was get through this and he got to see Ross and Rachel again, even if now he was an agent for a secret organization. Not to mention trying to manipulate them and their friends into giving him the information he needed. Well this should be fun..............  
  
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After trying on things ranging from expensive Armani suits to not even name brand jeans and old college sweat shirts, they decided on somewhere in the middle. His alias (which was not such an alias) was Chandler Bing successful advertising agent. So it wasn't his favorite but he had to seem normal enough. His attire included expensive suits for work and different jeans and shirts combinations. He was pleased he would still have a few million dollars in his bank account and a penthouse to go back to when this was all over. It was a far cry from his usual black leather jacket, dark sweater and khaki pants but it fit in the budget of this advertising agent so he could at least wear what he was most comfortable in sometimes.  
  
Just then Maggie walked back in interrupting his thoughts...  
  
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"You look good Bing." She said grinning and trying not to laugh knowing he would probably kill her later for the comment. Although it was funny seeing Bing in a suit which he would never ever wear especially since in every other detail he'd been on he demanded NOT under any circumstances would he be caught dead in an Armani. But here he was decked in it.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah so what's task number two?" he replied questioningly.  
  
"Ahh antsy are we?" she asked looking up from her black portfolio. She glanced down again and looked through some paper before answering "Task number two, character status........  
  
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Spread out in front of Chandler and Maggie on a plastic black table in another bare room with only a few windows on the far side were newspapers, a laptop, their coffee cups and a few other additional info papers they needed. Chandler was going to need a place to live and some type of history over what had happened in the past 4 or 5 years.  
  
They figured his story would go like this..  
  
"After I left the college we went to I went to another college in the Boston area. Then when I graduated I moved to California. There I met some old college buddies who were looking for an advertising assistant. I was in between jobs so I took it. Since then I've been rising in the company and now they've asked me to head up their brand new N.Y. branch.'  
  
It was simple and didn't really allow questions. It was blah enough for most to believe as long as you didn't know the real Chandler Bing. Which Maggie knew no one did and no one ever would. Or so she thought.......  
  
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"Now last but not least." Maggie sighed as she put the finishing touches on Chandler's "new" apartment in Greenwich Village. Well it wasn't really an apartment it was more of a warehouse. Actually it wasn't more of a warehouse it WAS a warehouse. When you first opened the doors you where greeted by a kitchen to your left. It wasn't as wide as it was long. Down further on the left wall were two doors one was a bathroom the other a bedroom. Then at the farthest left corner was a window.  
  
On the right was a series of doors leading off to different rooms, about 10 in all. Then about 30 feet from the farthest wall on the right in front of a door was a small, medal, spiraling staircase to the upstairs. This consisted of a one-room loft above the 10 or so odd rooms on the first. And down closer to the farthest wall was yet another door. It was the master bedroom.  
  
The loft was painted an egg shell white with a base carpet. The rest of the house was a gray-ish color with a black galaxy marble for flooring. The kitchen had a stone look with an abstract stone on the walls, the same stone only larger on the floor and a rustic marble countertop with a large stove/oven combination in the middle. The fridge in the far left and the microwave underneath (as in build into) the cabinet while the rest of common appliances littered the counter. Away from the stove was a large wooden table also. Separating the kitchen from the living room was a half wall.  
  
The living with its Black Galaxy tile and an 8x10 white almost shag- rug in the middle was enclosed with a simple blue couch that fit the length of the rug and a long black wooden coffee table littered with magazines. She hoped this would surprise Chandler since it hopefully reflected his own tastes but you could never be sure.  
  
Just then as she dropped the last magazine on the table Chandler entered throwing his keys on the pool table a few feet from the front door and sighed. Then he looked up and his jaw dropped. This place was amazing it was incredible he thought. And then because he couldn't resist "Maybe I should go into the advertising business" he stated sarcastically.  
  
"Bing, do us ALL a favor and keep your little comments to yourself you know they're not funny" she countered.  
  
"Oh now come on Mag you know you don't mean that" he replied walking towards the fridge and grabbing a water. "Want anything?" he asked before closing the fridge.  
  
"No thanks, I'm good" she said looking through her briefcase.  
  
He walked over and sat down on the couch "So what 'toys' do I get this time?" he questioned with a mischievous grin.  
  
"Well since you brought it up".........  
  
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Placed on the kitchen table in front of Chandler after Maggie had left were all the 'gadgets' he got to use during the mission. There was a very expensive high end notebook, a few hidden surveillance cameras, some extra wires, a standard locksmith set, a camera watch, a clean cell phone, phone/audio surveillance/recording equipment, PC surveillance equipment, and array of police badges and some other odds and ends things. He hoped it would be enough but you could never be sure.  
  
He left the table walking over to his suitcase. He lifted it with ease and placed it on top of the pool table. He unzipped and opened it revealing what looked like clothes. However after lifting out the first layer it showed its true colors serving as his weapon storage. Lined with gray foam it contained a standard issue black glock, a semi-automatic, a couple more handguns and a few other things.  
  
Just then he heard on knock. He spun quickly, closing the suitcase and reaching inside his leather bomber jacket and grabbing his other handgun. He stood on the side of the door and griped the trigger.  
  
"Who is it" he called to the other side  
  
"Pizza delivery!"  
  
"You've got the wrong house" he sighed with relief.  
  
"Isn't this 4312 ****s Street?"  
  
"Yes but I didn't order any pizza!" he tensed again.  
  
Before Chandler's mind reacted to the click of the man's gun on the other side his reflexes took over. And by the time his mind at taken in what was happening the guy's gun was on the floor and Chandler had his handgun pressed to the guy's temple. He walked through the open door dragging the guy who had passed out, while dialing the agency's number on his cell phone with his other free hand. "Maggie Wheeler please....Yes I'll hold...Thank yo...Mag..yeah...Well that makes two. Listen we've got a situation down here...Yup he looks like one of the Cornett's..Uhuh...Alright see you in a few." He hung up and finished dragging the body inside.  
  
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A few hours later Chandler's place had been swept down and checked for any type of alien device. His place was clean and since the man was the last of his gang-Chandler's team had wiped the rest out by either arresting them or... something else- Chandler was allowed to stay in the apartment. This was a good thing because they wanted this done quickly and having to find another location would be difficult. Maggie told Chandler to get some rest if possible he had to meet some new people tomorrow.  
  
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Monica finished lap number 50 in her parents Olympic sized pool and came up for air. Of all her parents houses this was her favorite. It was so secluded, so peaceful and quiet way out on the island. True she couldn't enjoy this with any of her friends expect Rachel and Ross too but it was still wonderful.  
  
As she was painting her nails later on Ross walked out of the main house with an ear-to-ear grin. She went back to her task at hand as he walked over, whatever it was it was probably nothing of conscience to her.  
  
"What's up?" she asked.  
  
"You'll never guess who I met today at the coffee house!" he exclaimed excitedly.  
  
"Who?" she said, not really paying much mind it was probably some high school friend of his, who she had no time for.  
  
"Well remember my old collage roommate?". Monica dropped the nail brush she was holding and looked up. 'Oh no not him' she thought 'please got not him'. "You met him at Thanksgiving remember? Well anyway we're having dinner with him next Saturday, you, Rachel and I. Oh yeah, and if they wanna come Joey and Phoebe too."  
  
"Oh right him." She tried to smile for her brother's sake but in the back of her mind she was hoping this was a dream. She had hated that guy so much and not to mention the other thing. Oh how was she going to get out of this?...........................................  
  
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So what did you think? well I'm not gonna know unless you REVIEW that's right kids say it with me now -reeee-vvvvv-uuuuu-wha lol! Any way tell me what ya think critique the hell outta it 4 all I care. Just tell me if its slop and I should be shot for putting you through such torture or.. you like it and want me to continue?!?! Doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo dooo da doo doo doo doo doo doo bum bah (theme from Jeopardy).  
  
P.S That's where I'm leaving it for now. Next Chapter will be up probably Friday or Saturday maybe even sooner if I have the time. So um oh yeah to the person who said something about the whole Gellar-Geller thing not that I have to justify myself to you but I have auto correct on my word thing so every time I put in Geller it corrects it to Gellar so sorry if that happens from time to time.  
  
Oh one more thing minor detail about thanksgiving Monica was fat both times so chandler never saw her as the totally HOT chick sh is now LOL ;-) Anyway that and Chandler had longer hair and um glasses and wore nothing of the sort he wears in this. He wore like sweater vests and geeky crap K? K alright enough of this jabbering I'm sure you have better things to do then listen to me.  
  
Repost reason= OMG I so screwed up!! I didn't remember "Maggie Wheeler" was the actress that played Janice!!!! It's not her so don't think that!!!!! I sooo did not know!!! Why didn't you tell me ** hits friends w/ notebook** really I didn't know **hits friends again**!!! I'm sooo sorry to screw everyone up like that but NOOO **hits friends again**!!!!!!!! It's not her/Janice because he wouldn't get along w/ JANICE I mean eeeewwww **hits friends yet another time w/ now tattered notebook**!!!!! No offense 2 those who like her **hits friends last time w/ shredded notebook**!!! And I mean g8 character but NOOO it's not her sorry again 4 getting anyone's hopes up **Aww fine hits them 4 the last time w/ remains of what looks like a notebook**! Oh and sorry for any slight grammatical mistakes or spelling errors/mix-ups you try writing something decent on a seventh grade English class it's not easy! I mean I'm not like one of those authors who can right amazing crap at 13! Which if you doubt me they r out there PAY ATTENTION I know it's hard but try!! **hits friends again** B/W the 'friends' I'm hitting r the ones I had CRTIQUE my fic **hits them repeatedly** 


	5. Testing? One! Two! Three! Testing?

A/N: So Chapter 5 huh? WHY R U STILL READING THIS?!?! LOL!! Well thanx 4 reading it anyway! I have 29 reviews so far YEAH 4 ME!!! I love the reviews you people are soooo nice it's almost frightening!?! Lol anyway so this is Chapter 5 and I dedicate it to all the lovely people who reviewed! So I said it last chapter but I'll say it again Monica was fat BOTH Thanksgivings okay and she didn't go to college with them but Rachel did so for like a year R/R/C hung out a LOT! Oh and Chandler was REALLY geeky! Okay, now on with the show .........  
  
Disclaimer: Don't encourage them! They only do it for attention!! {translation from 'idiot'} I don't own them!!  
  
Title: Don't Ask.......Don't Tell  
  
Chapter FIVE: Testing? One... two... three! Testing?  
  
"Oh right him." She tried to smile for her brother's sake but in the back of her mind she was hoping this was a dream. She had hated that guy so much and not to mention the other thing. Oh how was she going to get out of this?...........................................  
  
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Chandler sat at the table of the restaurant twirling his Silverware fork on the starch white table cloth in front of him. He was completely bored and had arrived 20 minutes early not to mention Ross was 20 minutes late. That's funny he didn't remember Ross EVER not being exactly on time. Just as he was contemplating this Ross walked up from behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. The sudden movement set off Chandler's reflex's and be fore his mind caught up he had Ross' right arm (which had touched his shoulder) twisted 10 degrees from breaking point. He quickly recovered and played it off as a joke.  
  
"Ross, you know you can't sneak up on anyone remember?" he said sarcastically  
  
"Chandler. Long time no see. Nice to know you greet an old friend by breaking their arm!" Ross added calmly. He knew Chandler had always looked for the joke. Although it almost seemed like it was reflexes not calculated. Huh he wondered why Chandler would react to someone tapping his shoulder.  
  
Chandler couldn't help but feel guilty if he had been paying attention instead of letting his mind wonder it would have never happened! He was just caught up in the case he hadn't realized what had happened! Crap he couldn't let that happen again it had never happened before! Why now? That was all he needed to lose his cool on one of his biggest cases! Great job Chandler!  
  
"So I thought your friends where coming?" he questioned.  
  
"Oh yeah they'll be here any minute" Ross answered distractedly Chandler's question having stirred him from thought.  
  
As Ross sat down the others entered looked for the table they stood to help the search and when all had reached the table Ross smiled and started the greetings.  
  
"Chandler this is Joey and Phoebe." He stated pointing to both in turn. Chandler shook Joey's hand and kissed Phoebe's causing her to giggle.  
  
"I like your shoes I've never seen anything like them before! They're so original!" he said compliments flowed easily out of his mouth.  
  
"OH thanks, I make them myself!" Phoebe cooed  
  
"And Joey are you the same Joey Tribbiani as the one on that T.V. show "Days Of Our Lives? My ex-girlfriend loved that show! Ya know she used to schedule her hours so she could watch that show!" he complimented knowing exactly what they wanted to here.  
  
"Really?" Joey asked excitedly, Chandler nodding in response.  
  
"You remember Rachel right?" Ross asked.  
  
"Sure Rachel! Nice to see you again. You ever get into fashion? I remember you always having a knack for that! I remember that time when you set my friend Darcy up with a whole new wardrobe at college. And she looked so much better than before in the colors you picked out and stuff" Chandler answered while Rachel pulled him into a friendly hug.  
  
"Oh and Monica. Where's Mon? Guys?" Ross questioned.  
  
"Oh she's in the bathroom" Rachel reminded.  
  
"Oh alright so what's good here?" Joey asked.  
  
  
  
A few minutes later Monica emerged and found the table. As she approached Ross stood and beckoned her over, followed by the rest of the gang. Chandler stood and looked where everyone had been, he didn't see anyone he knew? Why were they trying to get that women's attention?  
  
"Mon, there you are!" Ross sighed and walked over to his sister giving her a hug. She looked over to the man who was also standing but turned the other way.  
  
"Mon you remember Chandler?"  
  
'That's Chandler?' she thought as he turned. 'The geeky kid in sweater vests was now standing in front of her definitely NOT geeky anymore!! I mean what happened he's. he's. he's almost cute! Stop that Monica you hate him remember?'  
  
While Monica was admiring the change in Chandler, he was doing the same to her. That couldn't be Monica right? Not fat, annoying, Ross' little sister Monica? Nooo but. then again she did have the same eyes and smile. Wow talk about change! Ross looked pretty much the same maybe he had lost some of the, ahem, geekiness to his outfits but not like that! And Rachel she might have grown into her looks a little more, she was definitely gorgeous but Monica, well Monica was AMAZING compared to her before! But he couldn't dwell on that a compliment would suffice.  
  
"So Monica you look great, amazing. You have defiantly changed since the last time I saw you. Ross must have had the national Guard watch over you the past few years" He said sarcastically. So humor was his defense of the mind? At least he calmed down. He had regained his cool and would be fine.  
  
"Thank you, so do you though. I mean you're a far cry from that geeky kid Chandler right?" she joked back. That's right Mon even if you completely hate his guts you can be civil right? Right.  
  
  
  
After a period of awkward silence Joey had broken the ice. Which reminded Ross why he had brought him not to mention morale support for Mon. He wasn't exactly sure why but she didn't want to be there. He was pretty sure it was because he'd called her fat but other than that it was a blank.  
  
Monica however hated him for more than one reason. Ohhh yes she hated him maybe not for the first minute she had known him but after that it was a sealed deal, period, end of sentence, done, over, out of the park, case closed!  
  
"So Chandler what brings you to New York after so long" Joey asked. Phoebe and Rachel had made him memorize a few lines to break the tension between Monica and Chandler. They hadn't really gotten along when they were together as in the same room or a ten mile radius of each other!  
  
"Oh well.After I left the college we went to -as in Ross, Rachel and I- I went to another college in Boston. Then when I graduated I moved to California. There I met some old college buddies who were looking for an advertising assistant. I was in between jobs so I took it. Since then I've been rising in the company and now they've asked me to head up their brand new N.Y. branch." He finished smiling to himself. He loved this game...  
  
"But enough about me what about you guys?" he switched the topic carefully; questions were easy to get around but not always fun.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"By the time they had finished the main course learned the basics of everyone's life since he left or in Phoebe and Joey's case their whole life. It was his job to act like this was all new to him even though he knew everything about them down to the way they took their coffee to what laundry detergent they preferred. But he smiled and nodded picking up any personal details the surveillance team couldn't offer. He figured out that Ross was still madly in love with Rachel and she was totally oblivious to it. The team had been wrong they weren't dating Ross was just Ross. He was in love with her just as much if not more than he had been in college. He wasn't sure how it had managed to stay hidden so long. Someone should have slipped by now he had almost slipped a few times at college but Rachel hadn't picked up on it thankfully.  
  
Joey has seven sisters and he was the only boy. His family lived in Queens and he was an out-of-work actor who had just been fired off of Days Of Our Lives. Phoebe was an interesting specimen if he'd ever seen one. She was a twin, her mother had killed herself when she was 14 not to mention her step- dad was in jail again, (apparently her real father had run out on her mom, sister and her) then she lived on the streets and found aromatherapy which she had said saved her and was now a masseuse. Ross actually stuck with his major and became a paleontologist and was now working at the New York department of the Museum of Natural History. He had married Carol who was his girlfriend in college, but she turned out to be a lesbian and was now pregnant with his child. Wow that was a confusing sentence. Oh Rachel's a waitress at that coffee place they go to all the time Central Perk and she **flip** is currently off the market. She recently left an orthodontist she was dating in college Barry Farber and that's pretty much it."  
  
"What about Monica?"  
  
"Uhhh, he didn't say."  
  
"He didn't say!!!!! Well that's not good enough find out! Or it will be you they find in a ditch!"  
  
"I'm working on it! I listened to the tapes a million times and she didn't say one word to him! I'm not sure they got along that well."  
  
"I don't care what you do! Hack into their system..."  
  
"It's not possible..."  
  
"Then make it possible! Get out of my site you disgust me!"  
  
****slam***  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Chandler sighed and entered his apartment loosening his tie. He dropped his keys on the pool table and headed for the kitchen grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and falling onto the couch. He had been happy to see Ross and Rachel at dinner, even Joey and Phoebe were fun to talk to but god, was Monica annoying! He remembered how much he had hated her, during the course of the meal and wished she wasn't the mark! He had no problem getting close to people who had the power to evaporate the United States but he COULD NOT STAND HER! Everything about her bothered him the way she sat, the way she did her hair, the way she smelt so good, the way she smiled, the way she laughed.. ugh she was SO horrible! He stood and thudded up the stairs. He needed to release some tension..  
  
  
  
Monica and Rachel entered the apartment in completely opposite moods. Rachel was excited and happy no to mention chattering constantly. While Monica just sighed and nodded along feeling like she could punch the next person she talked to JUST for saying something. She remembered hating him but not hating him that much! He irked her so much! He was just uuuuuuuuhhhhhh! He just got under her skin and everything he did or said made her want to scream! He always had a joke and he was constantly being HIM! She knew why she had hated him a few years ago but now that didn't come into play and he still rubbed her the wrong way! When they had met even though he was SUCH a geek but he managed to still have a ton of friends and everyone liked him! He just could do no wrong! He managed to keep everyone 10,000 feet away from the brick wall he surrounded himself and still have friends. She didn't get it! Why?!?! Rachel sensing Monica's attitude decided to see what was up.  
  
"Mon? What's going on?" she inquired.  
  
"Nothing it just...." She moved her hands in circular motions but didn't finish her sentence.  
  
"What honey? This isn't about Chandler is it?" Rachel questioned with a knowing sigh.  
  
"Well...yeah" Monica sighed for the millionth time that night and sat on the couch.  
  
"Mooohuhuonnn!" Rachel whined loudly sitting down next to her best friend "Come on! Your 23 years old him calling you fat shouldn't bother you still" she whined.  
  
"It's not that. It's just..." She trailed off again "It's just.. Like tonight at dinner when that waitress wanted you to pay for that order the sent you even though it was wrong because it was the restaurant policy?"  
  
Yeeeaaah" Rachel replied not following.  
  
"Well did you pay for it?" Monica asked.  
  
"No because....ooohhhhohohohohoooooowah?" Rachel caught on.  
  
"Right because Chandler took her aside talked to her for like two seconds and she came back and comp-ed the entire meal?!?" Monica almost yelled.  
  
"What you still hate him because he's great with people?" her friend asked confused.  
  
"No, I still hate him because he always" (she really emphasized 'always') "always gets his way! He just" her jaw tensed "bothers me sooohohoho much!" Monica finished.  
  
  
  
Chandler rounded the corner and stopped to catch his breath while checking his watch. He decided to go for a run so he didn't put his fist through a wall. He had already hit the button on the stop watch so now it blinked at 5: 45. Five minutes and forty-five seconds. well she may make him want to punch a wall but she helped improve his mile-run! He thought laughing to himself. Normally if he hadn't been so deep in thought about Monica he would have noticed him....  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N: I decided to keep the original note for the beginning of the chapter before I got anymore reviews. I really wanna thank "A Mature Friend" and "Miss Indignant" after reading your reviews I got over my case of writers block and just wrote. So um I'm sorry 2 Becca if you see this because I didn't want to make this a big thing I just used that chapter to make sure your friend saw what I said. And to the other people who reviewed as in "angry aiken" or "Not Involved" it was a misunderstanding sorta but I'm not deleting ANY reviews because people who read the reviews deserve to see what was said about the writer good or bad. I wasn't 'attacking' Becca so there's no reason to "step off" But anyway I really wanna apologize to Becca again for this being SUCH a big deal I didn't want it to be! So I will delete the chapter when I have time but I have to be on a plane in ohhh about 7 hours so I gotta pack but I wanted to post this before I left! I will continue to post hopefully while I'm away but it might be like every week or every other week so SORRY!  
  
PS sorry 'bout the Maggie Wheeler mix-up I'll try and change the name maybe if I can! And sorry for this chapter being SOOOOOOOOO short they'll get longer but I wanted to post before I left so I gotta leave plane to catch literally lol bye 4 now thanx again! 


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